Your Problem Isn’t Commitment, It’s This…

The 2 reasons your goals stay unachieved.

One of my favourite sayings that does it’s rounds on the internet these days is this:

“You say you’re willing to die for your family, but would you be healthy for them?”

It’s a nice little reminder that often it’s easy to make the once-off-big-sacrifice.

It’s actually much harder to make the every-day-small-sacrifices each and every day.

What if you had to go through the pain of that big sacrifice every day?

Do you think you could do it?

Even if you said yes to this, you probably wouldn’t.

Don’t believe me?

Well how about that big sacrifice you failed to make yesterday?

When you woke up dialled in on your diet, but at some point in the day, hunger struck at an inconvenient time.

It was either the first thing you can get your hands on,

Or remain mildly uncomfortable until you’ve got your hands on something on your semi-prepared menu.

So you chose comfort. You couldn’t make the small (big) sacrifice.

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Obviously this doesn’t apply to everyone, but coaching dieting & nutrition for years now, it’s either this, or…

The person who finds it uncomfortable to cram in another meal for the day, but wants to put on muscle or fuel better just never finds the time (priorities) to do it.

But this analogy extends out to every small (big) decision we make throughout our days.

It’s obvious that jumping in front of a bullet is a big choice, with the level of repercussions that come with it.

And by contrast other decisions like the food we eat day to day, may not have as severe of an immediate impact.

But that does not make them easier decisions.

Because the biggest decision we need to make, is the next one in front of us.

Where the road to heaven is paved by sacrifice, and the road to hell is step by step down the comforting path.

Where each moment is an opportunity to take a step in either direction.

And there is never an arrival, but every step taken reveals a darker or brighter state of existence.

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I’m going to now continue with the slightly morbid analogy, apologies in advance… I promise it’s going somewhere.

If one of your goals was to allow your family to thrive as best possible, it’s a simple decision to make an immediate, momentary sacrifice.

What if you had to lose a toe for their ongoing ability to survive & thrive?

1 Toe or finger per year, for the next 20 years to guarantee their ongoing ability to thrive.

Still a pretty straight forward yes I’d imagine.

Okay, what if…

You had to give yourself a paper cut every day or else…

Still a big ol’ yes right?

Fine, last one.

What if you had to self-induce & experience a mild physiological and psychological discomfort for an hour or two at a time every single day?

And that guarantees that your family would love you unconditionally, and go on to thrive, and also they don’t blow up (kaboom).

Because when the stakes are high, we’d wear the pain like a badge of honour.

But say we removed the immediate danger (no kaboom), and instead it was a slow invisible burn which was never spoken about.

Like if we let our health slip to the point where we never become a physical role model to our children because we chose comfort for 10 years straight beforehand…

How would we act then?

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So when we look at what is actually on our medium or long-term to-do lists.

Things that can’t be achieved with a once off sacrifice.

Putting aside the fact many aim for a thriving, non-blown-up family.

What are we left with?

Probably nothing close to the stakes of the previous statement.

Not unless it’s something that was as important to our identity simply because we had otherwise deemed it to be so.

Which in of itself, half of this magic lies.

If it really, really mattered.

You’d take it more seriously.

If you were someone who truly cared about the result, and knew the pain of not achieving something would hurt more than the pain it takes to get there.

Then you’d take it more seriously.

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I remember such a pain from when I was competing in Athletics.

My knees hurt, my back hurt, my shoulders hurt.

Basically every day, but particularly when I trained.

But it didn’t hurt as much as it would have if I didn’t improve on the previous year’s efforts.

The idea of finishing a season without becoming an improved athlete still hurt more than the physical pain it took to get there.

And just the idea of that couldn’t exist if there wasn’t a part of me that believed if it was possible.

Even if I might have been wrong, I was going to let my body fall apart before I quit trying, effort was never the weak point.

So naturally, until I retired, every year I continued to improve.

Although that previous version of myself was yet to realise he didn’t need to be so (existentially) obsessive, there’s definitely some takeaways worth learning from.

Originally driven by naivety but amongst the best athletes in the country, it remains very clear to me - you only become as good as the comforts you sacrifice.

When the reality of not achieving hurts more than the pain it takes to get there.

If that becomes true, then you’ll have no problem with the sacrifices taken to get there.

And for that to be the case, you have to take yourself more seriously.

You have to at least act like the pain of failure will hurt more than the comforts you have to sacrifice on the way.

Because no one doubts your commitment to the things you say you’d do.

But how seriously you take the outcome, and your ability to sacrifice your internal desires pulling you back to comfort, they are what will stop you.

You need to take yourself and your goals seriously. Or at least act like it..

Don’t let your comfort addiction or the effort you put in, be the reason(s) you fall short.

I’d recommend also finding someone who you trust and is educated enough to facilitate your journey.

Walking the path alone is fine. But wise company keeps you on the right path.

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There’s one thing of this which rides hand in hand with this mindset shift.

It’s being prepared.

As part of the comfort we must sacrifice, comes the time taken for preparation and becoming a person ready for anything.

It’s pro-actively assessing what is probably going to go wrong throughout any given day or week and having a battle strategy.

Ticking every box perfectly on time is easy for a 5 year old without responsibilities.

But as we mature, and take on more & more responsibilities and commitments, it becomes harder to prioritise oneself enough to re-shape our identity.

Which is ultimately what is necessary for any desirable long term change.

An athlete’s mindset is what they can achieve despite the unexpected,

Not what they can’t achieve because of it.

This is both a confidence within oneself to handle anything that life throws,

As well as resilience & thriftiness to stay light on how much you need to spend on the unexpected.

It’s taking a breath after getting cut off in traffic, rather than ripping a scream.

It’s the acknowledgement that thoughts, are just thoughts, and not reality.

It’s not letting the cheat meal turn into a cheat week.

It’s listening without engaging with toxic conversations.

It’s the maturity to let go of what is outside of our control, instead of complain about it.

It’s the bravery to take up the responsibility to become your best self, regardless of what life throws your way, and preparing accordingly.

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It’s simple, your failures are either everyone else’s fault, or your own.

Your beliefs always shape your reality.

If it’s their fault, you can be right, and stay stuck.

Or you can be wrong, and start moving forward.

If you accept that the state of the world is a reflection of your choices, then you know there’s work to be done and the battleground of your future awaits.

And don’t head into battle with just a passionate heart and clever mind.

Spend time preparing & mastering your arsenal of weapons, get prepared for anything. Treat every challenge as an opportunity to display what you’re made of.

And when faced with the option to turn back around to the world you know or trudge deeper into the unknown, ask yourself this:

“What would I rather sacrifice, who I’m becoming, or the comforts of yesterday?”

Taking yourself seriously is a choice. Being prepared is a choice.

Time to choose.

Peace & Progress,

Lach